


chance to destroy evil

by heavenIy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers Endgame, Endgame, Gen, Oneshot, kind of, oh you thought i was coping? no i’m crying, this movie RUINED my LIFE, very
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:43:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenIy/pseuds/heavenIy
Summary: “if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?”tony stark has a lot on his mind while driving to the compound.intentional lowercase





	chance to destroy evil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thenthewenchsaid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenthewenchsaid/gifts).



** “if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?” **

 

the words took up all the space in tony’s mind as he drove towards the avengers compound. it had been years since he heard them — from a seven year old who definitely did  _not_ belong  at a weapons convention in 2004. he had paid no mind to it then, but now he couldn’t stop the memory from coming back. 

 

_ if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too? _

 

tony hadn’t answered the question when he was asked. he blamed it on security, they rushed him away far too quickly. but the truth was that all those years ago — before iron man, before yinsen, before _anything_ that landed  him where he was now — tony couldn’t answer it. not with the unhesitating _yes_ that  he was sure the kid was expecting. 

 

now, things were different. life had, well, life had _happened_. they called it a butterfly effect, if his memory served him correctly. one action causing a chain reaction. the course of his life sucked into a tornado and spat back out so suddenly that at first he couldn’t believe there had been a change at all. 

 

afghanistan. the ten rings. stane. (though they were all the same —  _connected_ , in the words of harley keener. 

 

vanko. the palladium. hammer. natasha. fury. his life flipped once more, but something told him that it had been heading in that direction since 2008. 

 

loki. the chitauri. the wormhole.  _thanos_ , though he didn’t know it at the time. if he hadn’t been on this road before, that was the turn that set him on it. 

 

there were other things, of course. the mandarin, ultron, the accords. a small price to pay for being a hero. but even then, tony wasn’t sure that he could answer that kid’s question. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

now — now he had a reason. he had pepper, the love of his life. rhodey, his best friend.  he had happy, as much as he knew he drove the ironically named man up the wall. 

 

he had harley keener, in tennessee but he never missed tony’s bi monthly calls. he had peter parker, once upon a time — bright eyed and never viewing him as anything less than a hero, despite knowing who he used to be. thinking the greatest of tony when he didn’t think the same of himself. 

 

and he had morgan.  _morgan_ . he never thought he’d have children ( _biological_ children , that is), especially after the decimation, but life works out in weird ways. he knew this better than anyone. after everything fate threw in his way and made him believe it could never happen, he had morgan. a little genius five year old who loved juice pops just as much as she loved her dad.  _3000_ . 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

he was almost at the compound, almost at the end of his life — he had a feeling but didn’t dare speak it into existence. 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

he thought about his life. about his parents, rhodey, pepper, happy, peter, harley, morgan. 

 

he thought about his teammates. natasha, clint, thor, bruce,  steve . 

 

he thought about  _himself_ . building mark i, eating that cheeseburger with happy, assembling the arc reactor. finding out about the palladium core, his birthday that year, going through the wormhole, fighting killian, building ultron, building  _vision_ . 

 

losing vision. losing peter. being in space. when carol saved him and nebula, being sure that this was the light at the end of the tunnel. seeing pepper and rhodey again. being too scared to call harley and never getting an answer. or getting an answer, and being reminded that peter wasn’t the only one he had failed. morgan being born. marrying pepper — not officially, but in all the ways that mattered, with rhodey by his side. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

all he had done, all he had lost. all he had  _gained_ . it all came down to this. he knew what was coming, he had known since strange had given up the stone all those years ago. 

 

he was in the endgame now. whether he spoke it into existence or not, tony was notgoing to make it back to the cabin. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

at the stop sign, tony paused. 

 

“if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?” 

 

the words came as a whisper, but it felt as though he had screamed them. he opened up his glove compartment and pulled out a box. 

 

pictures were lifted out. him and rhodey at mit. pepper the day he proposed. he and happy eating cheeseburgers when he got back to the states. peter holding his official stark industries plaque. harley with his rebuilt potato gun. morgan the day she was born. his teammates, clint in the front like the lead singer of a boyband. 

 

his eyes drift once again to the pictures of his family. rhodey, happy, pepper, harley, peter, morgan. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

“yes.”

 

the question that had plagued him since he heard it, now answered as it became all too real. a weight was lifted off his chest, though a bigger one sat there now. the weight of the world. 

 

the pictures got placed back into the glove compartment. tony had a feeling they would stay there. 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

“why the long face? let me guess: he turned into a baby.”

 

just like always, he hid his emotions and threw out some witty one liners. steve sighed. some things never changed. 

 

he wasn’t one of them. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

tony had changed. he couldn’t answer that question all those years ago. but he knew the answer now. something told him he knew all along. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

“...i...am...iron man.” 

 

a snap. the most excruciating headache he’d ever known. pepper, peter, rhodey. harley, morgan, happy — in his thoughts. 

 

_if you had the chance to destroy evil, would you do it? knowing it would destroy you too?_

 

he wondered if the kid remembered. if that answered their question. 

 

then tony stark wondered nothing at all. 

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing marvel kinda nervous
> 
> endgame completely ruined me & i wish i had written this before tony’s birthday but what can you do, right? anyways thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! tell me why you did and if you didn’t then tell me why too!


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